BACK ON THE LITERARY HORSE

 Mom rode. Dad wrote. The story galloped on…

“She’s the Rider,” I used to say, pointing to my sister. “And I’m the Writer.”
It held for decades, until she started writing poetry, darn it:

EARTH SONGS III
Lying in the
Milky Way
sprinkled like
cornmeal on
the sky,
watching the traces
of fireworks
millions of miles away.

Early morning moonlight
through the ponderosa pine
the moon dance crystalized,
gave
me
vapors
while the owl sang.

No—she’s good. But not that we can switch it up to the Poet and the Prose-writer, since she has a novel hidden away in the mountains back behind Boulder, and, yes, thank you very much, I do write poems too:

OUTSIDE BEND
Stars scatter all the way
to the ground
Headlights illuminate
a creek bed gouged into green, then brown
(earth cutting into earth)

Signs loom and then pass silent in the dark
time –
sleepless –
stretches

Our Greyhound dreams, a nightmare or two
cross and interlace,
scroll restless down the driver’s back
My son, 14, nods warmly into me, so like
the baby he just was
The moon is half

There, back between the hollows of
your frosted hills,
one light –
who’s home?

Anyway, who says the labels have to be so hard and fast? I ride herd on the commas (or lack thereof) in my sister’s poems. She questions a too-prosaic word or applauds a shortlist achieved.

And when my novella is longlisted for Regal House Publishing’s Fugere Book Prize https://regalhousepublishing.com/2023-fugere-book-prize-longlist/ , meaning, possibly, publication as a book, she cheers it on. (Disclaimer: the long-distance conversations in the novella between brother and sister come from a series of my sister’s hilarious emails re gardening for, shall we say, dummies).

When I don’t win the prize, the nearly-forgotten Rider part of the old equation kicks in—I waste no time getting back on the horse , researching more novella competitions, and finding three to enter post-haste.

In the saddle. Yee-ha ~

Oh. In the photo? My only horse show. Ever.

FAKE NEWS, ALTERNATE REALITIES, & SELF-DOUBT – HOW A LONG-LOST REJECTION LETTER ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF

 

For 3 years, I’ve been spending 6-8 weeks at home, 3 days on the train, 6-8 weeks across the border with my mom, 3 days back on the train… And repeat. I’m so fortunate to still have Mom to read old family letters in German to, to have 2:00 brunch and play MadLibs with, to share the odd wry comment or giggle.

It’s quite a switch from her house to mine, and every time I get home, the forest of books and undergrowth of paper/s seems to be, well, flourishing. This last time, it was suddenly too much.

Within 12 hours of getting back, I’m clearing off shelves and emptying drawers; inspecting one note or form or clipping at a time; determinedly filling the recycling bag. Until I find this:

 

Okay, wait—

This was the Enizagam Fiction Contest.

2013.

Fiction Judge Sarah Shun-lien Bynum.

I submitted my story Child.

Child WON that contest.

It was published in the next issue of Enizagam.

I was there in Oakland to read at the launch.

(I have a photo—I can prove it!)

I take a deep breath and read the letter again. ???

Maybe… as we leave years and layers of documents to their own devices, they begin to get seriously bored? Start joking around with each other? Come up with alternate versions of reality, parallel possibilities, some good old fake news?

I mean, I won, yes?

I DID.

Reading the letter to my son now, I’m beginning to veer ever so slightly off base: “You remember when I won, right? You read the story. Remember how… I mean, look, the issue’s right here on the bookcase with my other publications!”

Um. The issue’s not there.

For a moment, I really do believe in an alternate universe where:

Child went unrecognized.

I was advised to try again.

(Maybe I was kidding myself.)

(Maybe none of my writing was any good.)

(Maybe I wasn’t even a writer.)

Doubt. A growing dizziness. In self-defense, I go to bed.

*  *  *

Middle-of-the-night realization, verified early the next morning:

Of course—I submitted 2 stories to that particular contest.

 

 Rent Asunder was, in that disconcerting letter, the one enjoyed but not accepted.

Child made it.

Reality rules.

WINNING UNBEKNOWNST

   Knew my story “Bread” was a finalist for the Cedric Award. But now we were rolling through Colorado (could have been Utah, possibly Nevada). No wi-fi. Finally checked emails in Sacramento. But forgot about the other email account. Home. Busy writing and editing (myself and others). About a week later, happened to look at the Cedrics website. Then found the email announcement. Hello, I’d won the 2017 Cedric Literary Award in Fiction…

Honoured & grateful. Will post an excerpt soon…